Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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