I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
barbara walters just said penis...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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