there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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