The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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