Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
