Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
