Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
