Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
