I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize