There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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