I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
