TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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