update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize