Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
