True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
