I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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