I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
