I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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