Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My hand turned me down
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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