It's Friday. Sex?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
