garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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