Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
In America we eat man semen.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize