return my video game
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Come see our sink grown plant.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
