white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize