did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
