i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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