I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize