I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
