I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're my little dorito
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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