what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
