Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
