From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
