Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
