Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
