i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
