Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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