So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
only you would photoshop your dick
why do cheetos always look like penises
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
