I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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