wakey wakey hands off snakey
im holly from the hills drunk
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
