Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
