FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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