my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
