On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize