nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
