bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
