Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
