My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
