His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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