do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
