Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize