So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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