Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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