Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Soap is not a condiment
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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