so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
