Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
