i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
