Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize