therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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