and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
