Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
