There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
