Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
