Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
