Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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