Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
