did you get engaged???
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
honey bunches of taint.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
