Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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