I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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