This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
