I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
