she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize