If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
