ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
